Touching base …

I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room. I’ve brought my laptop with me to work a bit.

kayleigh has been in surgery – non-emergency, nothing threatening. After they rolled her into surgery I pulled out my laptop to do some work. Let me explain that we got here around 6 AM, and they rolled her to surgery around 7:30. After I got some coffee and something to eat, I went to the surgical waiting area and connected to the hospital wireless. I checked my mail and found an email from kayleigh waiting for me. She sent at 5 AM this morning, telling me she loves me and is grateful that I am here with her now.

She sent me a note knowing I’ll be checking my mail while she’s in surgery, and just wanted us to touch.

There are other people in my life that are important to me, and whom I love. But kayleigh’s and my relationship is something altogether different from what I’ve ever experienced before in my life. It’s a different level of everything. It scares me sometimes, knowing that if something ever happens to her, to us, I will no longer be me. kayleigh allows me to be me, who I am now, what I am now.

Sometimes it seems as if she’s the larger part of me, the good part.

I never want to hurt her, and yet I’m certain I do in a multitude of ways, here and there, in bits and pieces, or that I will through some stupid act or dumb remark. And she deserves better, because of who she is.

But I am so glad she’s in my life now, and that I am in hers.