How my brain works remembering Linda ….

February 3, 2009

I’m always amazed at how the brain works.  Specifically, since I have no other point of reference, my own brain.  Sometimes it’s like I can sit back and watch and enjoy the sometimes curious  connections it makes between thoughts as it skips along the way.  How it gets from point A to B sometimes amazes me.

For example, this morning I’m driving into work.  For no reason that I can figure at the time, I suddenly found myself thinking of an incident in high school.  There was a girl – isn’t there always? – who I spoke to a lot during journalism class, and yet, thinking back, I realize I had little contact with her out of that class.

Linda was a junior while I was a sophomore.  The journalism class was handpicked and not that large, and she sat in front of me.  We would frequently chat while doing various class room journalism things, and then later, while putting the school paper together in the graphic arts room.

Linda was a rather plain girl.  She was, or was very close to, perhaps, being albino.  Her eyes were a light blue, her eyebrows were barely noticeable, and her eyelashes, I remember, were extraordinarily long.  Her skin was very white, and she had long nearly white, not blond, hair.   Even the hair on her arms was white.  Her nose was bigger than it should have been for her face (some people may be interested in that).  Like I said, she was rather plain, and yet she had a pretty way about her, and most of it was in her personality.  She had a good sense of humor and was just a nice girl, if a bit moody (a teenage, and a girl thing, I’m betting years after).

Anyway, the point of this rambling entry is that when it came prom time, Linda asked me if I might want to go the prom with her.  She did this quietly, tentatively, almost under her breath.

And I hurt her feelings when I told her no thanks, that I didn’t really do such things.  And I didn’t.  I was afraid to even try to dance.  I was also  kind of embarrassed by her asking me.  She liked me, I knew that, but she wasn’t, I’m also embarrassed to say now, not my image of a high school girlfriend.  Nor was she in the clique I wanted to belong to at the time (and to that, I can now say, thank goodness).   I immediately felt like a shit for obviously hurting her feelings, but the deed was done.   Our friendship seemed to change a bit after that.  And I never did go to a prom when I was in high school either.

And so I was thinking of Linda on the way to work today.  Why?  Probably it was because I was wondering if I sent kayleigh a link to a family website my uncle set up,  which led to the thought of an email from a cousin that linked to the website, which led me to remember how that cousin surprisingly never got married, is very church oriented, and lives with a couple of cats.

That cousin was also blond, a bit prettier than Linda, but with a larger nose.  And that led to my remembering that when I was young,  Linda had always reminded me of that cousin.

Which led me to thinking about Linda and wondering what ever became of her.

God, I was a dumb ass sometimes.

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