It’s difficult to age without contempt…

February 1, 2007

A friend of mine dropped me a note yesterday, a simple subject line and nothing else: “It’s difficult to age without contempt.” I have no idea what she meant by it but I found the statement ironically suited to my current situation.

One of the symptoms of age kicked my ass around most of yesterday: a kidney stone at 5 AM, a trip to the emergency room, and surgery in the afternoon to remove the stone. Not pleasant. In fact, it hurt too much to even cry, not that I even considered crying of course, but that observation in the middle of it all was also somewhat ironic.  Anyway, more aging news came my way after a CT scan, with diverticulosis and an enlarged prostate, this last being a bit of a surprise to both myself and kayleigh.

So I’ve spent pretty much of a wasteful day today, fooling around on the net, organizing some Mac files, catching up on feeds, and letting my dog in and out and in and out of the house. He’s very pleased to have the doorman available the entire day.

Oh, and did I mention I’ve been pissing blood and urine and feeling like someone is clenching my left kidney in their fist when I do? Uh-huh. I have a stent which I (!) get to remove myself on Saturday. Excuse me? Myself?

I’m tempted to try the old tooth pulling technique of tying the string hanging out of me to a door knob and slamming the door, jerking the stent free. After I wake up from having passed out I’m sure I’ll feel much better. Then again, I do have a nurse handy who could do the dirty deed for me, but still….she’s afraid she might be spanked later for it.

I dropped my brother an email this morning about my adventure, figuring to give him a brotherly warning to have himself checked out. He replied in typical angst, “It has happened: we have become our parents!” He did some poking around on the net concerning kidney stones and, ranting about the dubious prospects of our old age, developed some psychosomatic symptoms by the end of the email.

When he gets the transmission of his truck fixed, he says, we can have a boys night out like we did around Christmas — and eat stewed prunes.


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