Thinking of you…

March 8, 2003

Went outside for a while just to stretch and get some air.  My chest felt tight.  I walked up and down on the deck (“That’s not walking, that’s pacing.”) and then shoved my cold hands into my pockets and sat down in the sun for a bit.  The wind felt good but was very cool even with the sun, but I closed my eyes and just listened to it blow and the trees and the birds and smiled, feeling a bit more content having spoken with you this morning and just laughing.  The dog was roaming the yard  but in close range and keeping an eye on me.  If I moved, he moved.  A cat padded the kitchen window from inside so I let her out and she gave me a bit of conversation and the dog a quick nuzzle before jumping up and settling into my lap.  My chest has been bothering me for days now and it scares me sometimes, and I don’t like being scared, don’t like not knowing what is going on or why.  It felt better outside.  I concentrated on seeing and feeling you, and smiled.

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