NaNoWriMo 2009 update …

I am behind, as usual, in word output. I’ve played catch up today and am a shade over a quarter of the way to where I want to be at the end. This makes me behind but not nearly as behind as I could be, or as I was in years previous. I guess that’s something, especially since I seem to be concentrating more on quality than quantity of words.

==

It’s easy to get caught up in research, especially if you’re a history buff researching something you are writing about. It’s easy to get side tracked down an alley, into a dark door, or into another frigging region of the country. I’m talking research here, not the actual writing of the piece.

One of the problems with writing historical fiction is that documented history can be limited and/or limiting. You can find yourself locked into what is known as true.

And then, for drama’s sake – even if the real life events were dramatic – a writer needs to switch things around. He might have to put unsaid words into the mouths of real historical figures, or take a hint of gossip or rumor and make it true. He might need to take a small incident and make it larger, or, by contrast, make a large incident less so.

He might also have to take an event that happened in, say, 1881, and put it in 1885, to heighten dramatic effect.

Which annoys the shit out of me.

How can I write about a real historic event and put that event somewhere else in time, thus rendering it false?

Ugh.

Lover’s angst …

kayleigh is acclimating to the new job, having traveled out of state twice in the past few weeks, and again next week for training.  When she returns from the training sessions she kicks into focus mode, doing required projects and tests.

Having gotten to ‘know’ the people she used to work with over the past many years in that weird ethereal way partners do when hearing the other partner talk about their coworkers, it’s a new experience to hear her talking an entirely new group of people.  There were always new names among new employees and trainees, but there was a core group where she worked that was always there.  Now, it’s all these new people, and I’m embarrassed (and irritated with myself) to find my insecurities flaring up more frequently.

We are very good at sharing our insecurities, thoughts, and various areas of  angst.  Misery loves company, I guess, and  as painful as those thoughts are to the other sometimes, we share them anyway.  And I know my thoughts and actions are more painful to her than her thoughts and actions are to me.   That makes me sad.  As much as I want to, and try as I do to protect and love her, sometimes I think I am her worst enemy.

A  few days ago I mentioned that whenever she mentions a new man’s name at work, I wonder if he will be the one to take her away from me.

She didn’t much like the comment, I guess, but we talked about it as we always do.  It’s always good to talk.

But for me, it was true.  And adding insult to injury  is that  as confident as I am in the strength of our relationship and our love for one another, I find it extraordinarily annoying to be equally insecure as I am confident, and almost at the same time!   What kind of screwed up dualistic thought process is that?!

My love for her has never wavered, not once, but let me tell you, insecurity and how it manifests itself sucks.  It colors everything even as I immediately try to wash it away.  Sometimes what I say and do seems almost calculated to push her away in a masochistic self-fulfilling prophecy, and that feeds the insecurity and scares the living shit out of me.

She’s told me hundreds of times that she’s lucky I’m a patient man.  But in spite of her ‘focus’ and the entertainment provided by some of her more obsessive quirks, I think she’s far more patient than I am.  Or stubborn as hell.   Thank goodness.

.

Macheist nanoBundle ….

In case you’ve not heard, Macheist, who offer pretty nice software now and again at a super premium price, is offering a free “nanoBundle” of several apps including WriteRoom, ShoveBox, Tiny Grab, Twitterific, and Hordes of Orcs. When there are 500,000 downloads of this free bundle, word processor Mariner Write will be unlocked.

The value of this is around $150 or so, but it’s free right now at Macheist.

Go have a download. So to speak.

Sign in a wine shop …

Squeeze me. Stomp me.  Make me wine.

Could be a writer’s credo.

A Silver smack down to Borders and B & N …

Steven Silver has something to say to Borders and Barnes & Noble that a lot of people have been thinking, including me.

So, if your selling point [...] is that you have brick and mortar stores, actually having books I want in inventory would go a long way.

No. Fucking. Kidding.